by Amy Metz, author of The Goose Pimple Junction Mystery Series
In the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series, the goosepimpleisms and Goose Pimplese are plentiful. The former are euphemisms, and the latter is the way the locals talk. When Tess arrives in Goose Pimple Junction in book 1, she has a little bit of trouble understanding the Goose Pimple culture. Luckily, she has Jackson to translate for her. By Book 4, Tess has come a long way in speaking and understanding Goose Pimplese, and Louetta tests her abilities, with Lou’s homemade award of a mason jar on top of a candlestick at stake. Can you pass the test? If you can, you’re eligible for the Probably Pretty Proficient award.
Do you speak Goose Pimplese?
- Translate: “Let’s skwinta the diner.”
- What would you do with bob war?”
- Define this: ‘sump’n teet.'”
- If I said Pickle was the sinner of the basketball team, would I be implying he needs to go to church more often?
- Translate “sumose.”
- Translate “Utcha doon.”
- What do you do with a flosswater?
- Translate “Wongo.”
- Translate “Yonto.”
- Translate “Impa tickler.”
- Let’s go into the diner.
- Make a barbwire fence.
- Something to eat.
- No. You’re saying he plays center on the team.
- Some of those.
- Whatcha doing?
- Swat flies.
- Do you want to go?
- Do you want to?
- In particular.
How’d you do?
5 answers right: you’re in a heap of trouble.
8 answers right: you’re satisfactual.
10 answers right: Pull out the mason jar, hon. You’re probably pretty proficient.
About the Book
Like any good Southern belle, Caledonia Culpepper was raised by her mama to be gracious, charming, witty, and above all, a devoted mother and loving wife, so she’s baffled when her marriage falls apart.
Wynona Baxter is a master of disguise but is often a ditzy airhead. A hit woman wannabe, when she’s hired for her first job in Goose Pimple Junction and things don’t go as planned, she’s forced to resort to Plan B. She’ll also need Plan C and D.
Crooked lawyers, restless husbands, a teenaged hoodlum – it seems there are rogues and rascals everywhere you look in Goose Pimple Junction.
When Caledonia and Wynona’s paths cross, they prove there isn’t a rogue or a rascal who can keep a good woman down. Mama always said there would be days like this . . .
Amy Metz is the author of the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series. She is a former first grade teacher and the mother of two sons. When not writing, enjoying her family, or surfing Pinterest, Amy can usually be found with a mixing spoon, camera, or book in one hand and a glass of sweet tea in the other. Amy lives in Louisville, Kentucky and loves a good Southern phrase.