Posts Tagged With: cozies

Guest Post: Probably Pretty Proficient

by Amy Metz, author of The Goose Pimple Junction Mystery Series

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Click on Book Cover to check out Amy Metz’ entire Goosepimple Mystery series on Amazon.

In the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series, the goosepimpleisms and Goose Pimplese are plentiful. The former are euphemisms, and the latter is the way the locals talk. When Tess arrives in Goose Pimple Junction in book 1, she has a little bit of trouble understanding the Goose Pimple culture. Luckily, she has Jackson to translate for her. By Book 4, Tess has come a long way in speaking and understanding Goose Pimplese, and Louetta tests her abilities, with Lou’s homemade award of a mason jar on top of a candlestick at stake. Can you pass the test? If you can, you’re eligible for the Probably Pretty Proficient award.

ProbablyPrettyProficient

Do you speak Goose Pimplese?

  1. Translate: “Let’s skwinta the diner.”
  2. What would you do with bob war?”
  3. Define this: ‘sump’n teet.'”
  4. If I said Pickle was the sinner of the basketball team, would I be implying he needs to go to church more often?
  5. Translate “sumose.”
  6. Translate “Utcha doon.”
  7. What do you do with a flosswater?
  8. Translate “Wongo.”
  9. Translate “Yonto.”
  10. Translate “Impa tickler.”

Answers

  1. Let’s go into the diner.
  2. Make a barbwire fence.
  3. Something to eat.
  4. No. You’re saying he plays center on the team.
  5. Some of those.
  6. Whatcha doing?
  7. Swat flies.
  8. Do you want to go?
  9. Do you want to?
  10. In particular.

 

How’d you do?

5 answers right: you’re in a heap of trouble.

8 answers right: you’re satisfactual.

10 answers right: Pull out the mason jar, hon. You’re probably pretty proficient.

About the Book

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Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction is the latest in Amy Metz best selling mystery series. Released today! Click on book cover to get it now at Amazon!

Like any good Southern belle, Caledonia Culpepper was raised by her mama to be gracious, charming, witty, and above all, a devoted mother and loving wife, so she’s baffled when her marriage falls apart.

Wynona Baxter is a master of disguise but is often a ditzy airhead. A hit woman wannabe, when she’s hired for her first job in Goose Pimple Junction and things don’t go as planned, she’s forced to resort to Plan B. She’ll also need Plan C and D.

Crooked lawyers, restless husbands, a teenaged hoodlum – it seems there are rogues and rascals everywhere you look in Goose Pimple Junction.

When Caledonia and Wynona’s paths cross, they prove there isn’t a rogue or a rascal who can keep a good woman down. Mama always said there would be days like this . . .

 

 

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Amy Metz is the best-selling author of the Goose Pimple Mystery series. Click on author pick to visit her website to learn more!

About the Author

Amy Metz is the author of the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series. She is a former first grade teacher and the mother of two sons. When not writing, enjoying her family, or surfing Pinterest, Amy can usually be found with a mixing spoon, camera, or book in one hand and a glass of sweet tea in the other. Amy lives in Louisville, Kentucky and loves a good Southern phrase.

 

 

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Character Interview: Johnny Butterfield of Goose Pimple Junction

Character Bio
Johnny Butterfield is the new chief of police in Goose Pimple Junction. He’s a former state trooper who is as tall and wide as Paul Bunyan but who has a heart as big as Texas. Johnny is a cross between Sherriffs Andy Taylor and Walt Longmire, and Goose Pimple Junction is lucky—and happy—to have him.

Heroes and Hooligans in Goose Pimple Junction is the second installment in Amy Metz's best-selling Goose Pimple Junction mystery Series. Click on book cover to see book on Amazon.

Heroes and Hooligans in Goose Pimple Junction is the second installment in Amy Metz’s best-selling Goose Pimple Junction mystery series. Click on book cover to see book on Amazon.

About the book:
Goose Pimple Junction is just recovering from a kidnapping and a murder, its first major crimes in years, when trouble begins anew. Life is turned upside down in the quirky little Southern town with the arrival of several shifty hooligans: A philandering husband intent on getting his wife back, another murderer loose in town, a stalker intent on frightening Martha Maye, and a thief who’s stealing the town blind of their pumpkins, pies, and peace. Together, they’re scaring the living daylights out of the residents and keeping the new police chief busier than a set of jumper cables at a redneck picnic. Suddenly, he has his hands full trying to apprehend a killer, stop a stalker, and fight his feelings for the damsel in distress.

Interview with Chief Johnny Butterfield:
1. Johnny, how did you first meet your writer?
I was working as a state trooper and Amy recruited me to help out with a hostage situation. We don’t get many of those situations around here, so I was happy that she called me in to help.

2. Want to dish about her?
My mama taught me it’s not polite to talk about people behind their backs . . . but I’ll just say she’s a little like Tess Tremaine: newly divorced, loves books, and she could trip over a cordless phone.

3. Did you ever think that your life would end up being in a book?
Law, no. But I never thought I’d be chief of police either. I can thank Amy for both of those things happening.

4. Did you have a hard time convincing Amy to write any particular scenes for you?
Yes. I wanted a little bit more romantic action, but she put her foot down. She did let me have several good kissing scenes, for which I’m grateful. I’d also like a good shoot ‘em up scene, and she promises I’ll have that in the next book.

6. Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name?
No, but when I was a kid I wanted to change my last name to Cash. I thought that would be totally cool.

7. What impression do you make on people when they first meet you? How about after they’ve known you for a while?
Some people liken me to Paul Bunyan because I’m so tall. I’m a pretty big fella, too, and sometimes my size will put a pause in someone’s step. But once they get to know me, they see I’m tender as Louetta’s pie crust. Don’t get me wrong—as an officer of the law, I’m as tough as shoe leather, but I have a heart that matches my height. There’s no need to fear me unless you break the law.

Click on Book Cover to download Murder and Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction on Amazon.

Click on Book Cover to download Murder and Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction on Amazon.

8. What’s the best birthday cake you’ve ever eaten?
My mama used to make me a Southern Praline Cake for my birthday. I still dream about that cake. Shewee, that was good eating.

9. Are there any laws that completely baffle you?
It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket. I kid you not—that’s an actual law. I don’t think it’s worth my time to get that one taken off the books, but seriously? Have you ever seen anyone carry an ice cream cone in a pocket? I mean, how did that become a law? Was there an epidemic of folks walking around with ice cream cones in their pockets and someone said, “That ain’t right?” It’s truly baffling.

10. Can you tell when someone is lying?
Yes. They won’t look you in the eye. Occasionally, I’ll come across someone who can look me in the eye and lie their butt off, but they’re sociopaths and we don’t get many of them around these parts–thankfully.

11. What’s something you tried that you’ll never try again?
Deep fried turduckin.

12. Have you ever been afraid for your physical safety?
Well, I can’t say too much about it or I’ll ruin the ending of Heroes & Hooligans, but let’s just say when I saw a two-ton vehicle barreling straight at me, I did some pretty strong praying.

13. Besides two-ton vehicles barreling straight at you, are you afraid of anything?
Praying mantis. Those things are just creepy. They have faces that look like a snake with huge antennae poking out. Their long legs are just disturbing. And they have claw-like thingies where their arms should be. I’m not ashamed to say when I see one of those bugs, I scream like a girl. Okay, I’m a little ashamed.

14. What’s your personal theme song?
Hmm . . . that’s a hard one. Maybe Garth Brooks’ “Unanswered Prayers.”

15. What are you starving for?
Some of Martha Maye’s fried catfish, cornbread, and lemon pound cake.

Click on Amy to visit her website to learn more about Goosepimple Junction.

Click on Amy to visit her website to learn more about Goosepimple Junction.

About the author:
Amy Metz is the author of the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series. She is a former first grade teacher and the mother of two sons. When not actively engaged in writing, enjoying her family, or surfing Facebook or Pinterest, Amy can usually be found with a mixing spoon, camera, or book in one hand and a glass of sweet tea in the other. Amy lives in Louisville, Kentucky.

Website: http://amymetz.com
Blog: http://abluemillionbooks.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorAmyMetz
Twitter: https://twitter.com/authoramymetz
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6436458.Amy_Metz
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Heroes-Hooligans-Goose-Pimple-Junction-ebook/dp/B00R6CWTYU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418918881&sr=8-1&keywords=heroes+%26+hooligan

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Blast from the Past: Tour Wrap-up

Well, it has been six weeks since the Blast from the Past Virtual Tour was launched and it has been a Blast! (pun intended)

Blast from the Past is Lauren Carr's fourth book in the Mac Faraday Mysteries. Click on cover to download from Amazon.

Blast from the Past is Lauren Carr’s fourth book in the Mac Faraday Mysteries.
Click on cover to download from Amazon.

We blasted off here at Literary Wealth with a profile for Blast from the Past, the latest Mac Faraday Mystery, which has been receiving rave reviews from everyone. Thank you, everyone, who has emailed me.

Before long, we were at Fay Moore’s I Want To Be A Writer, blog with my guest post: The Advantages of Having a Mystery Writer for a Friend. This post was a hoot to write.

Gnarly and I had a lot of fun writing the guest post for Melissa’s Mochas, Mysteries, and More. And then, telling the story of how Gnarly came to be in Buried Under Books was a special treat. This post included a picture of the real Gnarly, who is finally housebroken. It’s been an adventurous six weeks!

At Rebecca Sweeney Graf’s blog: ABookLoversLibrary, we had a book spotlight and interview.

Plus, we have enjoyed the great reviews and insights by tremendous reviewers like Laurel Rain-Snow, Roy Murry (conniesbrotherblogspot), Melina Mason (Melina the Reader) , and The Self-Taught Cook.

I do want to thank everyone for their help on this tour as we bring it to a close …

What’s that? could there possibly be someone out there reading this who has not heard of Blast from the Past, the latest Mac Faraday Mystery? Well, fasten your seat belts and let’s take off again!

In Blast from the Past, Mac Faraday finds himself up to his eyeballs in mobsters and federal agents.

After an attempted hit ends badly with two of his men dead, mobster Tommy Cruze arrives in Spencer, Maryland, to personally supervise the execution of the witness responsible for putting him behind bars—Archie Monday!

Mac Faraday believes he has his work cut out for him in protecting his lady love from one of the most dangerous leaders in organized crime; but when bodies start dropping in his lakeshore resort town of Spencer, Maryland, things may be hotter than even he can handle.

In this fourth installment in the Mac Faraday Mysteries, readers learn more about Archie Monday’s past in a flash—as in a gun fight when the syndicate comes to town. Readers love to be surprised. In Blast from the Past, they are going to be surprised to discover the secret of Archie Monday’s past, which threatens her and Mac’s future.

Blast from the Past also takes the Mac Faraday Mysteries to a new level as his relationship with Archie Monday moves onto a whole new level.  Readers have been clamoring for Mac and Archie to get together for three books.

What about Gnarly, Mac Faraday’s canine inheritance—the only German shepherd to be dishonorably discharged from the United States Army? Well, it’s not a Mac Faraday Mystery without Gnarly. Let’s just say Gnarly kicks things up a notch in his own way.

Book Excerpt:

Spencer, Maryland – Deep Creek Lake – Present Day

“Gnarly, it’s time for to go to your appointment.”

Lovely in her soft grey Chanel suit, rose-colored blouse, and stylish pumps, Archie Monday, assistant to the late Robin Spencer, hurried up the stairs to the second floor of Spencer Manor and down the hallway to the master suite.  The rose leather clutch bag under her arm was a perfect match for the fedora she wore over her pixie-styled blonde hair.

“Gnarly, are you in here?” She threw open the double doors to find the German shepherd sitting in the suite’s bathroom doorway. “There you are. It’s time to go.” She gestured for the dog to come to her.

Instead of obeying his favorite human, Gnarly whined and turned his attention back to the happenings inside the other room.

“Go where?” Mac Faraday called out to her from the bathroom.

She crossed the width of the suite to peer in at him. The sight that greeted her wasn’t what she had expected from the son of Robin Spencer, whose roots were as blue-blood as they come.

The clichéd appearance of a wealthy man calls for him to be tall, dark, and handsome—maybe ruggedly handsome—and at the very least, well-groomed. A man of wealth is best able to achieve this requirement by hiring others—like plumbers—to do the dirty work.

Two years after his inheritance allowed him to retire from his career as a homicide detective, Mac Faraday had chosen to ignore that rule.

His middle-class upbringing had a different rule: If you can do it yourself—no matter how dirty the job—it’s a waste of money to hire someone else to do it for you.

Determination had drawn Mac’s handsome face into a scowl. His blue eyes were narrowed into slits focused on the toilet in which he was plunging away. Water splashed upwards to spill over the sides and drenched the lower half of his sweatpants down to his bare feet.

Even in this less than glamorous setting, Archie did find his arm and chest muscles, bulging from the workout, appealing. When Mac yanked the plunger up from out of the toilet, in the process splattering the water across his firm stomach and down the front of his pants, she reconsidered that assessment. Maybe not that appealing after all. She asked, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“Why?”

“It’s stopped up.” He shook the dripping plunger in Gnarly’s direction. “And I have a feeling I know who did it.”

Uttering a whine, Gnarly moved to hide behind Archie’s legs.

She jumped to the shepherd’s defense. “Why are you blaming Gnarly? He doesn’t use the toilet. You’re the only one who uses this toilet.”

“You’ve used it.” Mac reminded her of her frequent nights spent with him in the master suite. “Maybe I should blame you.”

She folded her arms across her bosom. “I wouldn’t go there if I were you.”

“That’s why I’m blaming Gnarly.” He again pointed the plunger at the dog. “Look at him. Do you see that guilty expression on his face? He’s done something, and I suspect it has to do with this toilet.”

“Even if he did drop something into it, how did he flush it?” She giggled. “Mac, he’s a dog.”

The phone on the bed stand rang before Mac could come up with a response. “Answer that, will you?” He returned to his plunging.

“I need to take Gnarly to the groomer,” she called in to him while trotting to the king-sized bed that they had been sharing.

Mac Faraday had inherited the mansion from Robin Spencer, who, as an unwed teenager, had given him up at birth. However, his late mother had stipulated that her research assistant and editor, Archie Monday, was permitted to live in the stone guest cottage tucked away in the rose garden for as long as she wanted.

The beautiful green-eyed blonde had come with the house, and Mac Faraday was in no hurry for her to move out … nor was she in any hurry to leave.

Spencer’s police chief David O’Callaghan didn’t sound his usual jovial self when Archie answered the phone. After a quick hello, he asked for Mac.

“David, you sound terrible,” she observed.

“My weekend’s been shot,” he replied. “One of my cruisers was stolen last night.”

“Are you serious?”

Mac came into the bathroom doorway. “What’s wrong?”

She told him, “One of David’s police cruisers got stolen.”

David told her the reason for his call. “Tell Mac that I’m going to miss the game this afternoon. I need to fill out a ton of reports and find out how someone was able to break into our garage to steal a police cruiser.” He added, “Our guys are going to be the laughing stock of the state for this.”

In Archie’s other ear, Mac was asking, “Does he need any help finding the scum who stole it?”

“It was probably some bored teenagers pulling a prank,” she told them both.

“Committing a felony doesn’t make for a very good prank,” they told her in unison.

Seeing the time on the alarm clock on the bed stand, she announced, “Gnarly and I are late.” She handed the phone to Mac.

“Where are you taking Gnarly?” he asked her.

“To the groomer,” she said. “It’s the first Saturday of the month.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“Mac?” David called to him from the phone.

“Gnarly has a standing appointment for the first Saturday of the month,” she said with her hands on her hips. “Ten-thirty with Misty. He gets the works.”

“What’s ‘the works’?”

“Mac, are you there?” David asked him.

Archie ticked off each item on her fingers. “Shampoo, deep conditioner, teeth cleaning, toenails clipped, aromatherapy—they’re having a special today on strawberries and champagne—and—and this is Gnarly’s favorite—a deep body massage.”

Gnarly pawed at her hand.

“For a dog?” Mac’s voice went up in pitch.

“Dogs need pampering, too.”

“How much is all this going to cost?” Mac asked.

“Only two-hundred and twenty-five dollars.”

“Only two hundred and twenty-five dollars?” Mac objected. “I don’t spend that much a year on my own hair, and I’m a human.”

“And you look like it.” She kissed him. “I have to go. Misty is very popular. She will only hold Gnarly’s appointment for ten minutes. Once I was late, and she gave his appointment to a chow. Gnarly was in a snit the whole next week until Misty was able to fit him in.”

Gnarly uttered a whine mixed with a bark before charging down the stairs. Archie tucked her handbag under her arm and hurried after him.

With a shake of his head, Mac sat down onto the bed and brought the phone to his ear. “Dave …” All he heard from the other end of the line was a dial tone.

* * * * *

Gnarly loved riding in Archie’s royal blue Escalade. Mac would always order him to the back seat, which the German shepherd would ignore. Not so with Archie. When riding with his favorite lady, he was invited to ride shotgun in the front passenger seat and stick his head up through the sun roof when the feeling struck him to do so.

After climbing into the SUV, Archie noticed that the bangs of her shortly cropped blonde hair were curling funnily. That would not look good at the book club luncheon at the Spencer Inn, for which she was already running late. While the automatic garage door went up, she licked her fingertips and finger combed it.

Gnarly pawed at her arm to urge her to get moving.

“Sorry, Gnarl, I can fix them later at the Inn.” She put the car into gear and backed out of the garage, which housed Mac’s black SUV and red Dodge Viper. The last stall was still home to Robin Spencer’s yellow classic 1934 Bentley Park Ward convertible, which the late author had rarely driven. Mac had yet to drive it. He was afraid of wrecking it.

In the heart of Maryland, the cedar and stone home, known as Spencer Manor, rested at the end of the most expensive piece of real estate in the resort area of Deep Creek Lake. The peninsula housed a half-dozen lake houses that grew in size and grandeur along the stretch of Spencer Court. The road ended at the stone pillars marking the multi-million dollar estate that had been the birthplace and home of the late Robin Spencer, one of the world’s most famous authors.

Along the stretch of Spencer Point, Archie waved to the Schweitzers, who lived in the last house before crossing over the bridge, and then turned right onto Spencer Lane, which took her around the lakeshore. She noticed the Spencer police cruiser fall in behind her after she made the turn.

With her eye on the speedometer, she eased her foot on the gas to stay under forty-five miles per hour. With the other eye, she glanced at the black and gold SUV through the rearview mirror. She squinted in an effort to see who was driving.

It wasn’t Deputy Chief Art Bogart. He had his own cruiser. David was still at the station. Any of the dozen officers on the police force would have waved to her when she drove past.

I have a bad feeling about this… who’s that in the passenger seat?

The alarm inside her head kicked up the tempo a notch. The Spencer police department did not operate in teams. The force was too small. Each officer had his own cruiser and patrolled alone. If backup was needed in the small resort town, another officer would be only a few minutes away.

Something’s not right—not right at all.

The blue lights flashed on in the cruiser behind her.

“We have company, Gnarly.” She eased her SUV over to the side of the road. Through the trees on the right, she could see that the lake was tranquil. Most of the residents of Spencer were still waking up and starting their day. Across the road, the woods and trails led up the mountain on which rested the Spencer Inn, another part of Mac Faraday’s inheritance.

In her side and rearview mirror, Archie watched the two men with silver police shields pinned to their uniforms, dark glasses, and hats, get out of the cruiser. She could see by the fit of their shirts that they were wearing amour vests.

Gnarly looked over his shoulder and growled.

“Easy, Gnarly.”

While the driver approached Archie’s side, his partner came up along the rear passenger side. They were both wearing utility belts with guns, batons, and radios.

With her right hand, Archie reached into her clutch bag that she always kept tucked in between her seat and the hand break.

The driver reached around behind his back.

“Down, Gnarly.”

Gnarly lay down in the seat.

When she saw the butt of the gun come out from behind his back, Archie, her eyes on the target in her side rearview mirror, fired three shots from her pink handgun, engraved with The Pink Lady across the muzzle, over her left shoulder. The first shot took out the rear driver’s side window before ripping through the gun man’s neck. The other two went through his head before he hit the ground.

In one movement, Archie threw her right arm around to fire out the rear window at the partner who only managed to get one shot before she hit him in the lower neck. Her second shot went through his head.

The world seemed to stop.

Breathing hard, she clutched the gun and stared in the rearview mirror for any sign that they were still alive and would try again.

The next thing she was aware of was Gnarly clawing at her. When she didn’t respond, he licked her face. She had no idea of how long she had been sitting there.

“Oh, my!” She heard someone yell.

Archie opened up the car door and stepped out.

A car filled with tourists had driven up to the scene. Seeing the woman in a Chanel suit holding a pink handgun and standing over two dead police officers next to a cruiser that still had its blue lights on, they immediately became hysterical. The tires burned leather on the road when the car sped away.

After checking out the two men, Gnarly, assured that they were dead, came back to sit in front of Archie. His big brown eyes were questioning. What just happened here?

Archie knelt down and took the paw he offered her. “Well, Gnarly, it’s a long story.”

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